Then I realized how odd it would sound if I told my friends back home that I was going to my mother-in-laws on Sunday to oversee the negotiations for my sister-in-laws “lobola” i.e. dowry. What?? In this beautiful but patriarchal society, there is still a “bride price”. A man’s family must pay the woman’s family for his bride. I feel that the sense of ownership that used to be associated with this practice is no longer prevalent (at least for these city-fied families…I’d venture to guess this opinion wouldn’t stand in rural or under-educated areas). It’s not like my sister-in-law is being sold into another family, but to me it seems more like a formal joining of both families. I could have it all wrong but I realized this in not the first I’ve attended and I never even thought it odd that Alvin & I should attend*grin*.
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