Thursday, July 28, 2011

My Internal Smile

The other morning when I set off for my bike ride I was met by the most perfect full rainbow. Set against a dark sky and all. Drat, I thought, if only I had my camera I could share this moment with my few faithful readers. But as I pedaled faster, in search of the mythical pot of gold, I realized that's why I get out first thing: so I have this solitude to savour such beautiful gifts. I've started making a habit of referring to these sweet solo moments as my "internal smiles"; I carry them with me throughout the day so that when something doesn't go my way I can return to that private moment and smile.

On a completely unrelated note, I came across a beautiful piece of writing the other day and I suppose it made me consider how I remember my life in Lusaka. I don't usually post excerpts up here but I thought it such a poignant description of memories:

In real life, I reflected, you warmed yourself on cold winter days in a foreign land by pulling out a rag-bag collection of those memories. You wondered which ones to keep and which to throw away, paused over a fragment here, smiled at a scrap. You reached out to grasp people you knew and came up with a handful of air, for they were only chimeras, spun out of your own imagination. You tried to pin down a picture, thought that you had it exactly the way it smelled and looked so many years ago, and then you noticed, out of the corner of your eye, a person who had not been there before, a slight movement where there should have been the stillness of empty canvas. (Anita Rau Badami, "Tamarind Mem")

I'm off now for a quick bike ride before the next downpour (hopefully)*grin*

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